Remember when you got praised for your hard work? Or how someone told you how strong you were in that pressing situation? Or that time when someone gave you a compliment for your smile? And you knew how much effort you put into that work, how many hours it took, how it sometimes messed with your brain and your commitment, but somehow you made it through. And in that situation, you held your composure because this wasn’t the first time you experienced it, and for some reason, it was just easier that time.

And how much it meant to hear that about your smile because you’ve struggled for so long to let it shine.

Perhaps these are some specific moments you can relate to or not but think of a specific moment where you were acknowledged for your work, your way of handling it, or your approach to yourself because of it. Not everyone will comprehend what it took for you to get where you are today. This is why it is important that we acknowledge our own beginnings.

In my teens I began to develop an underbite, you see. I was teased and bullied, I heard things like ‘piranha’ or ‘don’t get caught in the rain - you’ll drown!’

It made me constantly cover my jaw when I walked past people, I never smiled, and I never allowed photographs of me. I could barely look myself in the mirror, let alone smile. That lasted for about 6 years before I got reconstructive surgery. And while that changed everything for me, it still took me another 10 years before I dared to smile.

Another part that was strongly connected to this experience, was that I lacked confidence altogether. I was the shyest, the most reclusive, the most silent one. If I had to stand in front of a small group of people sharing something I was anxious to the point of running away. It made me not dare to take risks, to trust myself, to chase my dreams.

I started smiling, I could speak in front of people, I dared to do things I hadn’t done but wanted to for a long time. It brought me to Bali, it got me to stand in front of hundreds of people sharing my own poetry and guiding yoga classes, it got me to stand in front of photographers and be comfortable with smiling, it got me to share more openly and vulnerably. It made me love my smile.

The point of this is that as soon as I acknowledge my beginnings, through the reminder from others, be it praising my confidence, my passion, my voice, or my smile - I am constantly reminded of what it took for me to get here. And it makes me proud and grateful at the same time.

So remind yourself today of your beginnings, acknowledge what it took for you to get where you are today and that not everyone will know what you went through, but when they praise you for something that might seem simple or small, recognize it, appreciate it, cherish it, and own it.

Most likely, the thing that you are really great at was something that was missing before or yearned for, and it made you grow into who you are today. Be it growing up in poverty, and how you are now a very giving person. Be it not being able to dance or be free, and that is one of the most beautiful ways you express yourself now. Maybe you were a shy and silent person that found your voice that is now inspiring others.

When we acknowledge our own beginnings and recognize what it took for us to get where we are, we will also acknowledge this within other people around us, and that no matter if we can’t fully understand what it took for them to get here, they also did and that deserves praise beyond compare. We are all struggling through something somehow, and remember that one thing for you that seems simple and obvious, might be another’s biggest battle.

Perhaps you can relate standing next to that super flexible yogi in class thinking “I’ll never be like that…” not knowing what it took for them to get there. I was that person once, standing next to the crazy flexible person, comparing my own lack to their prowess.

And guess what? A few years later, I became that flexible yogi, being compared to others. Therefore, comparison becomes a heavy burden that is unnecessarily held onto. Instead of comparing, admiring another person for their dedication and devotion, learning about their beginnings, and thus acknowledging what it took for them to get where they are today. And that today will acknowledge as another beginning in the future.

Perhaps this is the way for us to connect more with each other. Instead of comparing to someone else and feel lesser, give that person praise and compliments filled with curiosity for what you see in them. Because maybe that is just what they need to hear at that moment. Being praised for their effort, remind them to acknowledge themselves for where they are.

Remember when you got praised for your hard work? Or how strong you were in that pressing situation? Or that time when someone gave you a compliment for your smile?

Remember how that made you feel, how acknowledged you felt, how elated someone made you feel because YOU made it here, YOU did that thing, YOU are the creator of that smile. Remember that. Acknowledge that.

About the Author

Chris Fox is a mobility specialist and movement coach focusing on joint health, body awareness, and how to reduce pain with active bodywork. With the Fox Method, he helps people to get a stronger connection to their body, by isolating joint awareness, activating body control, and integrating healthier movement habits.

If you want to work on your mobility and stability, increase more body awareness and reduce pain to feel more light and alive, you can contact Chris for a session: thisischrisfox@gmail.com

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