5 Ways to Live With Passion & Purpose (Even if You Haven’t Yet Found Your Passion)

5 Ways To Live With Passion & Purpose (Even If You Haven’t Yet Found Your Passion)

Have you ever wanted something so badly you put the rest of your life on hold, waiting for that something to happen?

Do you find yourself disgruntled with your life right now because you aren't living with passion the way you long to?

A good example of this, and a common theme in many young women, are waiting to meet the man of their dreams, or biding time and going through the motions of life until their wedding day when true happiness would begin. Maybe you feel this way yourself - you're just ticking days off the calendar until you find your passion and can live a more fulfilling life. Maybe everything that's happening right now is just filler to occupy the space between today and the day you find contentment.

I can relate to this feeling. I've felt the restlessness and emptiness of not being 100% certain of what my passion is, and telling myself that I have to pick one thing that I channel all my energy into. Piling on all this pressure… and why? 

 I believe that because we have been constantly told that we need to ‘become something’ from childhood - we look to end results and an image of who we will be instead of enjoying the moment that we’re in and having fun exploring what lights us up.

I know what it's like to wake up with dread and low-level anxiety, wondering what's wrong with me and why I can't find happiness and fulfillment. Those days when nothing is fun, nothing is meaningful, and you wonder if you are just a hamster running on a never-ending wheel of ‘one day I’ll find my spark’, or ‘one day I’ll get there -- can feel like the most soul-crushing time of your life.

 So, if you don’t quite know what you are passionate about yet fret not! Let’s reframe our perspective and see what passion and beauty we can find in the everyday aspects of living...

Here are 5 ways to live with passion + purpose (even if you haven’t yet found your passion):

In Your Work

If you're unhappy in your work, then you're spending most of your waking hours unhappy — and that's simply unacceptable. Maybe you can't change jobs right now, so what can you do to feel more passionate about your work while you're there?

Begin by getting clear on what you DO like about your job. Write down everything good about your job — the people, space, some elements of the work, your office chair, etc. Be honest with yourself to acknowledge that it isn't all bad. Then look at the one major problem you have with your job. Are there any small positive actions you can take to make things better? Is there anyone you can talk with who might help you? If so, take the actions right away. Finally, try to approach your work with a Zen-like attitude. Even if the work itself is not stimulating or challenging, do it mindfully and gratefully.

As the poet, Kahlil Gibran reminds, “work is love made visible,” even work that isn't your passion.

“And what is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth. It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house. It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit. It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit.”
-Kahlil Gibran, from The Prophet

So beautiful right? This simple change in intention and perspective can radically shift your life and passion.

In Health

Spend time during your day to focus on healthy habits like exercise and good nutrition. This will boost your self-esteem, overall energy, and mood. As you become more proficient at exercise and continue to make good health choices, you may find a healthy lifestyle becomes one of your passions.

In Balance

Look at the areas in your life where you are over-scheduled or prioritizing busy work. Try to eliminate some of these things that are draining your time and energy. Cut back on spending time with people who are negative and unsupportive. If you know you are spending too many hours at work, deliberately make time to spend alone or with loved ones and doing other things you enjoy. Even physical clutter can make you feel unsettled and overwhelmed. Take a day to let go of material things in your home that you no longer want or need.

In Finances

Are you spending to fill the void of your unhappiness? Do you have unpaid debt or are you neglecting to save money?

This is a great time to clean up your financial house. Work on paying down debt, and rather than spending on things you don't need, put that money into a savings account. As you give yourself space to discover your passion, you may find you need extra money to start a business, take a class, or buy some time away from your job. Find joy in saving and appreciating all of the material blessings you have.

In Your Skills

Improve your skills in an area you enjoy. Savor the process of learning and gaining proficiency through practice. Learn something entirely new that has always interested you. Take a class or begin reading and researching information online. Do this for the fun of the experience, not as a means to an end, or a specific goal.

“Being driven is not the same as being passionate. Passion is a love for the journey. Drive is a need to reach the destination.” - Simon Sinek

And finally; don't allow the frustration of not having a life passion to overshadow the opportunities to live passionately today, right now.

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The Courage To Speak: Cultivate The Skills To Confidently Voice Your Truth

The Courage To Speak: Cultivate the Skills to Confidently Voice Your Truth

Most of us understand the very real challenge of speaking up for ourselves. The feeling of tightness wrapping around our throat, our mind going blank, or the tongue-tied confusion that comes out even though our thoughts are coherent outside of the situation.

If I’m completely honest my own inability to speak up is what lies at the heart of the work I do today. For a long time, I struggled to set healthy boundaries, tended to take things very personally, & often felt like I was walking on eggshells as I tried to show up the way I thought I ‘should’ be. Even little things, like telling a friend when they did something that upset me was terrifying. I convinced myself that I was being caring & understanding. In reality, I was bending myself to manage other’s perceptions of me even at the expense of my own self-responsibility & self-respect.

There’s this idea that we should all be able to just speak up for ourselves. I’ll often hear people say things like “I don’t know why they didn’t just say something” or “Why didn’t you just tell me!” Yet, there are a number of reasons why we don’t just speak up, many of which are unconscious & unintentional. Perhaps we don’t actually know how we feel or what we need. Or, maybe there’s a history of being dismissed & so even when we try to speak our nervous system launches into overdrive, our minds go blank, our throat tightens, & our desire to speak is derailed.

Any of this sound familiar?

You’re Not Alone!

I talk to people every day who struggle with these things. Whether it’s at work, in relationship, or in the family dynamic speaking up & sharing our truth can feel impossible. The good news is that with time, patience, practice, & a little courage we can develop not only the ability to speak up but the clarity to know when our voice is needed.

How Did We Get Here? When you were growing up did you receive clear guidance in how to communicate, have your feelings effectively mirrored, & see your parents & family engage & work through difficult conversations? Did you have both role models who demonstrated these skills as well as the opportunities to practice & learn them?

Likely, this mixed bag. The reality is that everybody is born into a situation where we either implicitly or explicitly learn rules governing our communication. These are subject to the times, our culture, our family & the histories of their lives & communication strategies. When we unpack our history we begin to see patterns of communication ingrained from a young age. Things like ‘kids should be seen but not heard’ or ‘girls should be nice’ can influence our ability to communicate for the years to come.

Appreciate Your Starting Point

Take a moment to consider what beliefs around communication were instilled in you when you were younger. This practice is not to reinforce blame but to maturely acknowledge both our skills & current limitations in communication so that we can address them.

For example:

• What did you learn about addressing authority?

• Were things talked about or ignored?

• Were you encouraged to share thoughts & opinions?

• Were your emotions mirrored?

• Did you learn how to regulate your emotions?

• Were arguments won through discussion or dominance?

• Did you learn how to debate? Listen effectively? Argue healthily?

By detangling the communication strategies of our past we can appreciate the skills we have & address those we wish to cultivate. With a little self-compassion, courage, & patience, growth is absolutely possible.

Awaken the Courage to Speak Your Truth

Speaking our truth requires courage not only to speak but to listen & persevere through a multitude of messy & awkward conversations. As we learn these skills we inevitably develop a greater sense of esteem, self-respect, & the ability to connect in a relationship with more sincerity. By anchoring into ourselves, assessing the situation, doing our best to optimize the conversations, & ultimately letting the conversation go we develop the consistent confidence to speak our truth & the wisdom to know when our voice is needed.

#1 Anchor Into Yourself

More often than not our inability to speak up stems from a hyper-concern of how we may be received. To speak with clarity & impact we must first understand ourselves, our motivation, & our message.

Acknowledge Your Excuses.
Consider what is preventing you from speaking up. As you examine these excuses decide if they hold true to the person you are choosing to be today. Re-write the excuses to fit the more empowering narrative.

For example:

• “I don’t want to bother them” might become “I would like to understand this better”

• “This shouldn’t bother me” might become “Something here feels off. I’m curious to know what that is”

Acknowledge Your Responsibility
Acknowledge the scope of your role within the situation & take on the appropriate amount of responsibility. Each party carries a level of responsibility, be it for themselves or for the group. By accurately assessing our role in the situation we both address our own limitations & maintain healthy boundaries. In contrast by taking on too much or too little responsibility we limit our ability to learn & may lose respect for ourselves or from the other person.

Acknowledge Your Motivation
Why do you want to speak? What will you gain by speaking up?

Courage comes from the heart. Motivation based on self-respect, mutual respect, & genuine care for all involved inspires courage. Often we are most challenged by those conversations where our motivation is outside of ourselves - i.e. seeking validation, needing someone to see we are right, wanting them to perceive us in a certain way. This external motivation creates hypersensitivity to others’ reactions & responses. However, when our motivation comes from our heart, our own true desires & respect, we anchor courage within our self.

Clarify Your Message
Clarify what you need to say based on a motivation of self & mutual respect. Remove superfluous details, own your role, & avoid blame & projection. Clarify the truth for yourself first. Then, after assessing the situation decide what needs to be said.

#2 Assess the Situation

A holistic assessment of the situation will help you engage in a way that both respects your & others needs, times, & limitations.

Assess the Facts
Clarify the facts of the situation. Remove judgments & biases so you plainly see the objective indisputable facts. These facts create a neutral foundation from which to communicate.

Assess the Impact
Speaking up, especially in vulnerable situations is risky & smart risks come with a possibility for reward. Instead of wondering what all could go wrong ask yourself what could go right? Could a clear & honest conversation build rapport or respect? If so then it's worth giving it a try. Remember speaking up can be messy & imperfect but the willingness to engage & try is at the forefront of growth. In some situations, the risk may be too high for the reward. Not everyone is going to be willing or ready to hear what we have to say. Does this mean we shouldn’t speak up… not necessarily

If a person is dismissive or abusive we may choose not to engage out of respect for our time & effort. On the other hand, their dismissal may be the very reason we speak up - not to ‘make’ them listen (as we know this is a disempowering motivation) but because it is personally important to us that we speak up for ourselves & our needs. This is a deeply personal choice & it’s yours to make.

Consider the Other Side
Think about the person you are speaking with. Take time to consider their motivations, feelings, & needs. Remember this other person is also a complex multi-layered being with their own histories & conditioning. When we appreciate the other person from a human level we are more likely to approach from a kinder & more respectful place.

#3 Optimize the Conversation

When we engage in a conversation it is important to make sure that we have the best circumstances for effective discussion.

Time & Attention
If you want to address a difficult topic all parties need the time & attention to do so. Trying to fit a big conversation into a rushed period of time will likely leave it unresolved & create more frustration. For effective conversations ensure there is both time & space free from distraction.

Listen
Listening is fundamental to healthy conversation. Genuinely seek to understand what the other person is saying. Seek clarification, ask questions, & do your best not to assume you understand. Be respectful & willing to learn.

Embody Your Voice
Embody your voice as you speak. Feel it in your chest & gut. Speak slowly & feel the words land as you say them. When we are nervous there is a tendency to freeze up or speak fast & incoherently. Acknowledge any sensations that arise like nervous energy, allow it to be there, then continue to speak from a connected place in your body. Take your time, stay aware of your breath, listen to your words, & anchor in yourself.

#4 Let Go & Let Grow

Whether the conversation ends with cohesive closure or monumental disaster let it go & let yourself grow. Sometimes a conversation closes well on its own & other times it opens up a pandora’s box of triggers & judgments. Neither is wrong.

When the conversation is complete take time to separate from it & clear your head. Go for a walk, meet with friends, do something you enjoy. Later on, when you feel calm & collected review the conversation on your own - acknowledge where you feel you acted as you wanted & recognize where would like to improve.

If, &, or when another conversation is necessary go through the previous steps again. Courage is built through time & engagement. Trust me if you are engaging, willing to learn, & open to growth then you likely are (even if you cannot see it yet).

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About the Author:

Amy Thiessen is a coach, writer, & musician who focuses on helping others find & express their voice with resonance. Her unique approach works with the wholistic mechanism of voice utilizing somatic awareness, psychology, mindfulness, spiritual practice, & vocal techniques of toning & song.

Personal relationships are foundational to our sense of self & interpersonal support. If you would like support in navigating & communicating more effectively in your personal relationships please book a free consult & we can see if 'In Resonance' Coaching is right for you.

Please contact me through email: me@amythiessen.com

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What Does It Mean To Live a Life Of Purpose?

What Does It Mean To Live a Life Of Purpose?

I think this is a very important question to contemplate, because we are taught by our societies that we need to find a purpose in life, to ‘become something’ or ‘become someone’. But what if the purpose of life is simply living? 

We can rush from A to B and B to C, climbing ladders to success, wealth, and enlightenment, but still feel deeply unfulfilled. And could this be because we have set all visions in our minds as things to be attained, or places to arrive, and therefore miss the beauty of actually living, and the intimacy with life.

It’s a Curious Thing to Look Inside Your Mind & Observe Where Your Actions are Being Driven From. 

Are they sprung from true passion, with no goal or reward in mind? 

Are they arising out of fear of what you think you ‘should’ do, or have to do in order to fit into society, or please others, meet expectations? 

Are your ambitions driven by the need to accomplish, or please the idea in your mind of what ‘success’ looks like? 

When we contemplate such things without any judgment, we can get more honest with ourselves, and see what it is that is driving us, truly. 

To me living on purpose is about showing up every day to what is in your heart. What is truly important to you right now. This day is truly all we ever have to work with.

So what is on your heart today?
What are you passionate about?
What do you get lost in for hours on end, and engage in with no end goal or attachment to an outcome?

I truly feel that these things that we are interested in for no explainable reason are life’s beauty experiencing and expressing through us. It’s like the living and the purpose are one, so life is the purpose. 

How Do We Know What is Behind Our Actions?

I would say that usually, it comes down to three things:

LOVE, FEAR, OR NECESSITY.

We need to meet our basic needs, so this would come under necessity. Then you have fear as the driver, that feels like it needs to get something to be more; more complete, more recognized, more fulfilled, etc. Then there is love. Here I would say that love is intertwined with passion. Because of love and passion move with no agenda or motive. You know it’s love/passion moving you when you thoroughly enjoy something, do it for hours without tiring, and the concept of time melts away. You know it’s love/passion moving you when you would do that thing for free because the love and joy you get from doing it far outweigh any reward or payment.

Living with purpose won’t necessarily guarantee higher paychecks and fancy properties (not to say that you won’t have these too), but the fulfillment of listening to, and abiding in what feels true in your heart over the noise of society, is a reward in itself. The pull to be part of something bigger than a limited individual self, and question what’s really important each day positively impacts the world in ways wider and deeper than the mind can possibly conceive. Your love and the quality of your daily living is the beauty of life in motion, and that sets a shining example for future generations.

So, What Does It Mean To Live a Life Of Purpose? I say the purpose is not an object or a goal, but the purpose is in getting to know yourself so intimately, and living what is in your heart.

Can You Ask Yourself Today Honestly, What is Moving You?

Are you being lived by love and your unexplainable curiosity, or moved by hand-me-down ideas of ‘success’ and the idea of ‘becoming’? 

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Committing To Your Dreams & Goals

Committing to Your Dreams & Goals | Increase Your Chances of Success With an Accountability Partner. 

Do you ever feel like you write down goals, but get derailed three weeks later?

It can be easy to break a commitment to ourselves right? You wake up and it’s cold, so you snuggle in the duvet a little longer, or you’ve had a busy day so you’ll do it tomorrow, but then tomorrow rolls into a week and then a month, and suddenly your goal has vanished…

Sound familiar? 

We’ve all been there; you’re not alone. We have all broken promises to ourselves, BUT when you make a commitment with someone else, something changes. Because it would be rude not to show up for someone else - wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t want to waste the time they’ve given. And that’s why the support of an accountability partner can be just the motivation and support you need to make the progress you so want!

Fun Fact: When you commit your goals to someone, your probability rises to 65%. If you create a specific accountability appointment with a person, the odds increase to 95%.

Plus, an accountability partner can provide constructive feedback, fresh perspective, guidance and inspiration to help you succeed and reach your goals. - Double the yes!

You can already see the obvious benefits of having a success partner to help you shine, and here are five more ways an accountability partner helps you succeed…

5 Ways an Accountability Partner Can Support You in Reaching Your Goals

1. UNCOVERS BLIND SPOTS

An accountability partner sees the whole picture. If there are character traits, tendencies or bad habits that could be derailing your efforts.Your accountability partner helps identify roadblocks, redirects you if you get on the wrong path and keeps you on track.

This can include addressing things you’re avoiding or lying to yourself about—an accountability partner can help you uncover these blinds spots.

2. KEEPS YOU HONEST

An accountability partner makes you take responsibility for your actions. This means that you’ll feel committed to completing what you said you would so you don’t disappoint yourself or waste the time of your partner.

3. ACTS AS YOUR SOUNDING BOARD

Your accountability partner may offer advice, but sometimes the best thing they can do for you is listen. They can listen to your hopes and dreams, struggles and setbacks. 

Your accountability partner may not have all of the solutions for you—and they’re certainly not your therapist—but they can serve as a sounding board for your ideas and goals. They can redirect you and keep you on track.

By acting as a sounding board, your accountability partner can help you remember why you began your journey. If you have some setbacks, your accountability partner will help you recover quickly and keep you moving forward.

4. KEEPS YOU MOTIVATED

When things feel tough, or you’re having a wobble they will remind you of the positives that will happen when you reach your goal and why you set out to accomplish this goal in the first place. Afterall, part of the experience of reaching your goal is sharing the positive outcomes and wins with someone else. It’s like with so many other things in life: It’s better together!

5. KEEPS YOU FOCUSED

Your accountability partner can help you modify your behaviors and help you track your progress every week. If you’re doing things that are distracting you from your goal, your accountability partner will help you shift your priorities back on track..

As you can see there are clearly some amazing benefits of having an accountability partner. So, how do you find one?  

How to Identify and Choose Your Accountability Partner

• Identify someone in your network. Your accountability partner can be a professional, a good friend, a co-worker, a relative, or a spouse or partner. You may even find your perfect partner in the Radiantly Alive Online Community!

• Honesty is the best policy. Seek out a person who can be straight with you; who can listen to you and provide helpful ideas.

• Find a reciprocal partnership. Meaning the two of are going through the same process together. You could have a similar goal, shared goal or completely different goals.

Approach Your Accountability Partner

Reach out to your potential accountability partner. Ask them if they’d be interested in holding you accountable for your goal(s). Share what you'd like to accomplish. Let them know what your goals are, your plan for reaching your milestones and your deadline.

How to Work With Your Accountability Partner

• Communication frequency. Establish how frequently you'd like to be in touch. Whether it’s a text message a few times a week or every morning, a 15-minute phone call once a week, or an in-person meeting every other week.

• Continual check-ins. Have regular check-ins with your accountability partner preferably at the same time each week.

Check in with each other until you reach your goal and stay in touch even after you accomplish your goal to make sure you stay on track.

Start Crushing Your Goals

Yay! Commit to a better version of you. Commit to YOU. Declare today that you will set out to accomplish your goal and start taking deliberate action toward your goals and dreams.

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A Simple Guide to Meeting & Overcoming Perfectionism

A Simple Guide to Meeting & Overcoming Perfectionism

by Amy Thiessen

"This is shit”.

I know, it’s brash, but the perfectionist voice in my head doesn’t filter. When it takes over it’s incessant, unrealistic, & usually cruel. Nothing is good enough for the perfectionist & it’s expectations constantly linger beyond reach, goading me to be better, do better, know better.

Perfectionism can be daunting & defeating. Even when we fulfill our goal - have that tough conversation, sing that song, write that play - it arrives not to congratulate us but to snuff off our accomplishments with the thought “Yea, so what - you still haven’t _______”

Some people see perfectionism as a threat to push aside while others have brought it into the narrative of who they are “Yea, well I’m a perfectionist.” In it's own strange way perfectionism can even be addictive - a seemingly necessary force that ensures we keep pushing ourself to do better. In one moment it cuts us down & in another offers us a fleeting sense of superiority as it judges another to be 'less then'.

Unfortunately, the pain of perfectionism is very real. When taken at face value it’s harsh assessments can be debilitating. It prevents us from trying new things, speaking up, or following our very personal & valid interests. When we repress this voice or deny its existence it may lurk beneath the surface instigating our insecurities while never revealing the truth that waits beneath.

The ‘Perfectionist’ voice isn't an enemy. It’s a strategy we've developed to ensure that we are valued, accepted, & safe. When we can draw this voice & listen we may discover a gateway to greater self knowing, self love, humility, & growth.

1. What Motivates Your ‘Perfectionist’ Voice?

When perfectionism is upon us - its voice ringing judgement in our ears - it helps to pause & ask ourselves “What is this voice trying to achieve?”

By understanding the motives of behind the perfectionist voice we step closer to discovering its true nature - the one that lurks behind this strategy. This is an excavation. Dig into each answer that arises & see if leads you deeper. Is there more to this? Why does this matter?

Some common motives of the ‘Perfectionist’ are;

~ To achieve
~ To ensure I don’t fail
~ To prove my value, my worth
~ To make sure no one judges me
~ To be recognised as the best
~ To overcome a stigma or external judgement
~ To avoid feeling the shame or embarrassment of being judged
~ To finally make ______ proud
~ To gain validation

2. What is Your ‘Perfectionist’ Afraid of?

As we uncover the motives of our perfectionist voice we often encounter uncomfortable sensations & emotions. These indicate a deeper motivation - something more personal that we are afraid of or resisting. In understanding these fears we begin to unveil the part of ourself that has been protected/hidden by the perfectionist voice. Like motivation this is a process of gentle excavation & curiosity.

Some common fears of the ‘Perfectionist’ include;

~ Afraid to be shunned or judged.
~ Afraid that _______ will never acknowledge me.
~ Afraid that I’ll be a failure.
~ Afraid that if I’m not great at this I don’t have value.
~ Afraid of unworthiness.

As you complete this list pause & take a several deep breaths. Orient yourself to your space, look at what’s around you, & feel your sensations. Allow any strong emotions that arise & stay anchored in your breath. This is a moment to honour yourself & to appreciate that part of you that is genuinely afraid. Meet this part of you like a friend, bearing witness to it’s expression while remain present, attentive, & patient.

3. What does the ‘Perfectionist’ (or likely inner child) Need or Desire?

I want to pause here to bring to light a common response that I hear. Something like “She just needs to trust herself” or “She needs to accept herself.”

Imagine for a moment that you are a little kid being told “You need to accept yourself.” How does that land? Really? What I’ve found is that it often creates more tension - because the desire to be accepted is discounted & instead met with the idea that you ‘should’ be there already. Its kind fo a sneaky perfectionist voice in itself.

With that in mind as yourself what does this part you - the part that is afraid really desire?

Examples might include;

~ To be accepted.
~ To have space to grow & learn.
~ To be appreciated & loved for who & what they are.
~ To be respected .

Write these down & notice how each one lands in your body. Does it feel true? Take your time, if new to this type of exercise it can be quite encompassing.

4. Meet the True Needs of the Perfectionist Voice

Imagine yourself there with this ‘Perfectionist’ part of you. Hold a wide state of presence & offer them that which they deeply desire. You may do this as a felt sense or speak to them in a tender clear voice.

Some things you might say include;

~ I accept you as you are.
~ Take as long as you need to feel safe - I’m not leaving you.
~ I appreciate who you are in every way.
~ I am here to listen.
~ I am willing to listen.
~ I am willing to learn & work with you.

Take your time. Feel the words land. Stand in the voice of the mature brilliant individuals you are while also listening from the vulnerable part of you that has been afraid. With patience & zero attachment you might even ask this part of you if they have anything they want you to know or how they would like to be supported.

The insights found her are deeply person and a long way from the incessant harshness of perfectionism.

A Foundation for Compassionate Communication.

The voices inside us all come from some past experience or learned behaviour. As we come to know them & seek to understand them we find a path to healing ourselves & more effectively expressing our truth.

To meet the perfectionist voice & uncover it’s message we deepen our sense of self, our vulnerability, & self acceptance. This is revolutionary for our voice as it creates greater internal freedom to explore & express those things that are more tender or true. When we appreciate our perfectionist & hear that which is beneath it’s often brash tone we shift the focus. Moving from trying to be who we think we ‘should’ be based on outside approval into who we desire to be in our own truth. This allows us to express and share in a more humble, authentic, & empathetic voice.

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About the Author

Amy Thiessen is a coach, writer, & musician who focuses on helping others find & express a their voice with resonance. Her unique approach works with the wholistic mechanism of voice utilizing somatic awareness, psychology, mindfulness, spiritual practice, & vocal techniques of toning & song.

Want to work with Amy 1-on-1? Book your FREE 20 minute consultation : me@amythiessen.com .

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Stay Committed & Inspired to Achieve your Goals

6 Steps To Help You Stay Committed And Inspired To Achieve Your Goals

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” ― Albert Einstein

The difficult task people often face is remaining consistent in the pursuit of their goals.

At the start of a New Year, we are often bubbling with energy and enthusiasm for all the great changes we are going to make and the resolutions we are (hopefully) going to stick to. We are full of the best intentions, until life shows up with unexpected demands and then all goes out the window!

Let’s face it, life can be demanding at times. The capacity to manage your finances, health, relationships, career and a host of other things can sometimes feel like juggling many balls at one time. - That is why it is really important to not only set goals, but make an action plan to reach them. 

So let’s get into it... 

1. Don’t Make Resolutions: Set Goals

It might seem like resolutions and goals are the same, but to me they are different in a very important way. People seem to make New Year’s resolutions like they’re a wish. Something they’re hoping will just happen. But when you set goals, you make a plan so that you know what work you need to do for that goal to actually happen.

2. Make your Goals Specific & Realistic

This is important so that you can achieve your goals!

Specific: It is important that your goals are specific so that you know if you’ve achieved them or not. If you want to eat healthier, how will you know if you’ve done it? But if you want to eat at least four servings of fruits and vegetables and drink six glasses of water a day, then you can easily tell if you’ve done it or not.

Realistic: If you set unrealistic goals, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you want to save $5000 for an emergency fund, but you usually only have $45 left at the end of every month for savings, you most likely will fail (unless you have a specific plan for making extra income). I want to set a goal that I can realistically achieve so that I can succeed!

3. Write It Down

Yes, you might have read it a hundred times, but did you actually do it? Write down your goals and place them somewhere you’ll see them!

Sticky notes to your refrigerator, or on your office wall or bathroom mirror. Make a screensaver for your phone or laptop. Put a note inside your wallet so that you see your savings goal every time you spend money. - This isn’t a resolution that we’re going to wish for and forget about. This is a goal that we are going to work towards.

4. Break Down Your Goals Into Categories of Short, Mid & Long Term.

By breaking your goals down in this way, it helps you stay realistic in terms of what is achievable in a loose time frame and keeps you motivated in the attainment of them. 

Here are some examples:

Short Term Goals 

Remember, these are goals that are to be accomplished in a year or less.

• Write in your gratitude journal every morning 

• Practice Yoga 4 days a week

• Meditate for 10 minutes every morning 

• Save a specific amount of money for an emergency fund

• Save money for further Yoga teacher training 

• Learn a new language

• Try a new class

• Go on monthly dates with your special someone

Mid Term Goals

These goals might take 3-5 years to accomplish.

• Finish a bachelor’s or master’s degree 

• Move to a new city

• Make a career change

• Build a business

• Purchase a house

• Pay off all debts 

• Start a family

Long Term Goals

Long term goals will likely take 10 or more years.

• Pay off mortgage 

• Expand business 

• Have a saving fund for your children 

How do you come up with short, mid, and long term goals?

Ask yourself, “What do I want my life to look like in 1, 5, or 10 years?”

By thinking about your future and what you hope you will have accomplished in the next “however many” years, you can create goals that will get you there. Setting goals for how you would like to grow and change through the years inspires you to commit to them and take consistent action.

But setting goals isn’t enough. To really make your goals happen, you need to figure out what steps need to happen for you to accomplish those goals.

Just saying that your goal is to create a daily yoga practice won’t make it happen. You need to decide what time of day you will do it, how long for, where you will practice, so that you set yourself up for success and don’t let excuses get in the way!

If you want to change careers, figure out what training and skills you will need to get that new job. Create a schedule for how you will take classes that you need so that you will be ready for your new career.

5. Be Accountable To Someone

Having a good accountability partner can help you make serious progress toward any of your goals.

An accountability partner is a partnership where you mutually agree to coach each other and provide feedback on a regular basis. With an accountability partner, you each agree to talk daily or weekly through a call, voice notes or text sharing your wins and talk about your current challenges.

It could be as simple as messaging each other once a day to update your progress. For example: “Felt really tired today, but rolled out my mat and did a 30 minute gentle flow, and felt amazing afterwards!”

By saying our commitments out loud to one another and agreeing to support each other to stay committed, raises our level of commitment significantly! 

6. Create positive habits

If you’re aware of negative habits, replace them with affirmative ones. For example if you find yourself wasting time surfing the web or scrolling instagram, recognise how you are buying time from the real task at hand (insert goal).

Stop this habit by disabling your internet connection or putting your phone in flight mode so you can focus on what you really want. The more you redirect yourself toward your goal, the sooner the NEW habit will become ingrained; thus disabling the old negative habit. Ta da! 

What are you committed to? And what steps do you need to make it happen?

Let’s start the year as we mean to go on. Reflect upon our hearts desires, and set the wheels of change in motion. Goals + Action = Creation! 

With love,
Jemma

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Journalling - Why is it Important?

Journalling - Why is it Important?

Writing is an art. And I’m not referring to our relationship with our laptop or pressing down of the keys, that’s not writing, that’s typing. A process which we mostly consume when reading online articles, all of which have never had the creative and natural process of going through a journal or notebook. That relationship between ink and paper, where the boundaries are erased, a place for the hand to flow as the words empty out and unfold. You cannot compare the two.

Perhaps truly inspired and honest writing births between you and the paper and the page. Like an artist with a paintbrush: without the pen to paper contact, you are simply… just typing.

So why write? Why journal? Why make time for another task? What are the benefits of writing everyday? Maybe it can feel like a chore but I’ve experienced more. When we awake each day, before we speak, there is a beauty in creating space to empty out our thoughts. Writing everyday is powerful. It’s that intimate moment, that good habit. Exercising the practice regularly, we write and express this natural gift, creating energy and clarity in how we reveal ourselves.

Opening the gateway to the inspired thoughts that may pass us by or become jumbled up, or forgotten. So see writing as a mindset, a place to zone in, and in cultivating a daily journaling routine, you will see words explode like a puff of magic smoke.

Introducing: 'Morning Pages'

These are a powerful tool that shouldn't be underestimated. From the book ‘The Artists Way,’ we learn that ‘when working with morning pages, we begin to sort through the differences between our real feelings, which are often secrets, and our official feelings, those on record for public display.’ And the commitment is this. To write four pages as soon as you awake. Write with no purpose and don’t worry about mistakes. It is a stepping stone in allowing you to get a step closer to your inner voice, to better communicate.

Communication is possibly the most precious currency you’ll ever have and writing can be a step towards the creation of a more articulated tone, wiser word choice and an expression of a feeling with a touch more clarity. Everyone has the ability to write and there is a sense of freedom when we have the steps and tools to speak and be heard in a way that is authentic and true to us. To have a voice. And of course, writing down what’s locked inside may seem overwhelming or difficult at times but that’s when we just write. If we leave the thoughts inside, they develop into stories, forming a text tornado, which picks up speed, taking over the truth.

So Write. Pick up The Pen and Form The Shapes.

Write without stopping. It doesn’t have to make any sense, it doesn’t have to form sentences, you can even misplace the punctuation, just let the words flow out of you and cascade onto the blank canvas, so that you you don’t have to carry the weightiness of the thoughts around with you anymore. Give them full permission to be set free, so that you can feel lighter and clearer to clarify what you really, deeply feel.

And as you lighten the load, you feel clearer, more free. To say what wants to be said with a new sense of energy and clarity. When the words travel down from mind, to hand, from ink to page, we participate in a rehearsal of life, the prequel of an awkward conversation, so that the final production clearly portrays the truest words. Writing takes courage and we never know where our words may take us and others.

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What are Limiting Beliefs? Where do They Come From & How Can I Get Rid of Them?

What are Limiting Beliefs? Where Do They Come From & How Can I Get Rid Of Them?

“I’m too old.” 

“Someone else will do it better than me.”

“I’m not good enough to…”

“I don’t have enough money, confidence, credentials…”

Have you ever noticed that not so subtle voice in your head, blaring out a million different sabotaging reasons why you can’t, should, shouldn’t, must do xyz? 

It appears everywhere. From getting dressed, to choosing what to eat, to going travelling or making a big life decision. Big or small – it’s there, narrating what will be the best for you, like an overprotective, neurotic mom.

But Where Does This Internal Narrative Come From? Have You Ever Stopped To Question It?

Well, this voice is simply an old show reel of old beliefs that we have formed throughout our life in order to ‘keep us safe’ in the world.

You may have heard before that whatever you believe about yourself comes true.  This is because your brain looks for evidence to reinforce the beliefs you hold, and it will usually find the evidence that it’s looking for.

It’s not often that people stop to question their beliefs. We tend to take them as a given.

But one of the vital first steps in making change is becoming aware of and understanding how yourbeliefs are holding you back from living fully.

Read on to find out more about what self-limiting beliefs are and, more importantly, the process of identifying and overcoming those stories.

What Are Self-Limiting Beliefs?

To put it simply, self-limiting beliefs are assumptions or perceptions that you've got about yourself and about the way the world works. These assumptions are “self-limiting” because, in some way, they're holding you back from living in harmony and achieving what you’re capable of.

That’s a quick overview, but let’s unpack the term a little more by examining each of its components, starting with what beliefs are and how they're formed. 

How Your Beliefs Are Formed

From a very early age in childhood, we begin to form beliefs about the world and our place in it. Our brains are very good at spotting patterns and making associations, so we constantly process the stream of information about the world around us and use it to form beliefs. Generally, the purpose of belief formation is to help us understand the world and stay safe.

In early childhood, these beliefs are usually based on our own experiences and shaped by our parents or other dominant figures in our lives. If I hit someone, I get punished, so hitting people must be bad. If I say “please” and “thank you”, I get rewarded. So, being polite must be good.

As we get older, we start to form more complex beliefs and are able to draw on a much wider range of sources, such as books, movies, TV advertisements, social media and the behaviour of our friends, peers, and so on. 

Nevertheless, the core beliefs that we formed as young children can be very powerful, and even when we encounter new information or explanations, we often cling to our old beliefs. Cue the saying: Like a dog with an old bone. We just don’t want to let go!

For example, a young girl with hard-working parents, who are often absent, may form the belief: “I’m not good enough for them to want to be with me.” Later, she may come to understand that her parents work hard for many reasons, including their love and desire to provide for her, but that early belief may be so deeply engrained that she continues to hold onto it. This continues into other relationships, where she attracts people who mirror back the same absence and so reaffirm her belief that she is unworthy, or unlovable.

Once we've formed a belief, we tend to look for more evidence to support it. This gives us an imaginary stable foundation for understanding the world to keep us from feeling pain, but it also means that beliefs can be tough to get rid of, even when they're holding us back.

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs - It's Easier Than You Think!

The way that you clear limiting beliefs is by recognizing them. Once you see the limiting belief and all the ways it sabotages your relationships to yourself and others, you no longer buy into them, and so they are no more! Ta da!

But first we need to see them…

Leave us your email below and we will share a powerful exercise with you as a tool, to clear limiting beliefs in any area of your life. 

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