Acknowledging Our Feelings
Oh, feelings. What a scary and also magnificent part of ourselves. I used to be terrified of my feelings. They got locked up somewhere deep inside because I didn’t want to show them, I didn’t dare let them surface and have me act out some tantrum, anger, or action that I would later on regret. But in doing so I just made it worse. These feelings became bottled up, they infused other parts of me that had nothing to do with it and on occasions I would lose control and say or do something foolish without knowing why I did so, and to this day, I still do!
Secondly, on the complete opposite end, I tend to feel everything in an overwhelming way. I can overthink and over-feel, I can go in circles and spirals of emotions where it’s really hard to get out of. My imagination can create stories that has very little to do with reality and it is quite draining.
Maybe you can relate to this experience. There might have been moments when you lost your cool and had no idea why it happened. Or feeling upset about something without knowing why, it was just there and became a familiar feeling. Or in the other end of things, where you got overwhelmed by what you felt and it became a crippling sensation.
Now, in this human experience, we will lose our cool, we will get frustrated and not knowing why or how we are feeling, and we will get overwhelmed, but we simply cannot eliminate feelings like anger, sadness, frustration, jealousy, bitterness, or anything else seemingly negative in nature. But we can change our relationship to them. And it won’t be easy, it might be a lifelong journey, but what I am saying to you is this - that it is worth it.
In some ways, we can look back at our childhood and upbringing to decipher why and how we relate to our emotional state today. Did you have a childhood where you were allowed or even encouraged to express your feelings? Or was it something completely different? Our social and cultural environment plays a large role on how we handle our feelings today. What kind did you grow up in? Take a moment to write down some things and reflect on how you grew up. How did you relate to your feelings? Did you communicate this with your parents or siblings? How about with your friends, or in school? You would be surprised what we can find about ourselves in relation to how we were brought up!
Now take a moment to reflect on your current relationship with your feelings. Are you expressing yourself fully and honestly? Do you struggle with thoughts and feelings? Do you feel safe to share things with friends, partners and family?
The more we acknowledge our feelings and how we express them, we can go deeper within to see what can be improved and what can change. It is a courageous act to listen within, and here are some things that you can do to get more in touch with your feelings!
Journal about it.
This is a great personal practice because it is private and it can be completely unfiltered. It doesn’t have to be some deep and radical expression, just a moment each day to share for yourself about how you are feeling. It acts like a safe companion for yourself.
Share with a close friend.
We all have that friend that we can share everything with. And maybe all you need is a listener that doesn’t reflect back, but is there for you in a time of need. Just let this friend know what you need and let yourself speak freely. If you want any reflection, then let them know about it. The safer we feel the more we will allow ourselves to pour out our words and feelings with them.
Meditate.
No need to be anything fancy, just a moment for yourself to sit in stillness and listen to your thoughts and feelings. This is a valuable time to feel and to let it be felt. It might be confronting to feel, or it can be a void of silence within. Whatever it is, just listen. Just breathe. Putting this into a frequent practice will change a lot within.
Talk to a professional.
There is still a stigma around talking to a licensed therapist, and it should be the most normal thing for us to do. This is where a lot of things can be unraveled in the most supported and guided way possible.
A few more things that you can do to acknowledge your feelings is to find a creative expression through movement, dance, art, poetry, or music. Or get immersed in nature to calm your senses and nervous system.
And the most important part of it all - be patient with yourself. You are a complex human being that is alive, you have a wonderful mind to explore, a courageous heart to feel, and a magnificent body to move and be moved.
I hope this resonates with you, and if you have any feedback or questions, feel free to drop them here below!
Thanks for reading,
Chris
About the Author
Chris Fox is a mobility specialist and movement coach focusing on joint health, body awareness, and how to reduce pain with active bodywork. With the Fox Method, he helps people to get a stronger connection to their body, by isolating joint awareness, activating body control, and integrating healthier movement habits.
If you want to work on your mobility and stability, increase more body awareness and reduce pain to feel more light and alive, you can contact Chris for a session: thisischrisfox@gmail.com
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